Staycation?

Lately, all I ache for is to get away. 

Not from my husband, Peter, because he has been a place of comfort to run to. Not from friends or family because connection and community bring relief. Not from clients specifically, because I love walking the journey with them. Not even from my house necessarily, because it is beautiful and roomy and has the greatest view! 

Then what do I want to run away from? 

Not my puppies, though they can be little pains, because they are cuddly and sweet, and I adore them. Not from my boss, who is the best, most trusting and respectful boss a woman could ask for. Not from the morning alarm clock, because I don’t set one! I don’t start seeing clients till 10am, so there’s no need for that incessant buzzing to wake me. 

I’m trying to figure out what it is that I need to escape from. I’m looking at every little aspect of life right now, and finding nothing that I want to leave behind. I love my family, my home, my career, my friends, my life! And yet, daily I dream of driving away.

The truth is, vacation is not only about escaping, but about moving towards a time of freedom and relaxation. There are no responsibilities to pay attention to, no laundry to do, no paperwork to take care of. On vacation, there’s no guilt about doing nothing. I can truly breathe!

So, is it possible to create this atmosphere at home? 

I sure hope so! Otherwise, I’m going in debt taking trips every other month! I am someone who gives of myself in my job especially and who needs time to let go of everything and rest. Here are some activities I’m going to try in the next month:

Find day-trip destinations to take in the nature beauty around us and possibly finding little cafes to try.

Put away the paperwork, homework, computer screens, and whatever distracts me from the present for a day.

Act like a tourist in my own town or the surrounding areas.

Find ways to be near the water! That’s not difficult where I live!!

Go to the theater, live music, or a play! (Check out Riverfront Playhouse, Cascade Theater, Movies 14, Civic Auditorium, State Theater in Red Bluff, North State Symphony or Shasta College)

Eat out! Find the little hole in the wall restaurants where home cooking is comforting and fun. Or treat ourselves to Moonstone Bistro (best food in town!)

Visit local attractions like Turtle Bay Museum, Shasta Caverns, Shasta Lake Dinner Cruises, River Romance cruises down the Sacramento, or the Sundial Bridge.

Take an art class or go paint at All Fired Up.

        Try a meditation or yoga class. (I have tried Goat Yoga, it was good for my heart, not for my body)

Any other suggestions? Let me know if you want to join me in creating a staycation of your own and how it goes? All of us need a little self-care, which includes some pampering, some silliness, some rest! 

Hello Again

     I haven't written here for years. And a lot has changed. A lot.

     I am now working as a therapist and feeling such fulfillment in knowing this is where I am meant to be. It is such an honor to hear other's stories, to offer support and acceptance, and to create a safe space for inner work to happen. This is a humbling career, and I am grateful for being able to collaborate with clients in choosing to walk towards healing.
     I haven't been to church in almost a year.  There was such unrest inside me every time I attended church, 2016-beginning of 2017. I felt anger, the need to numb, and a deep dissatisfaction in my church. My husband, Peter and I spoke with friends and pastors trying to work through whatever was happening. We explored our faith and the deconstruction experiences we were having with each other. We tried to persevere through the confusion as faithful church goers.
     Our conflicts with the church: lack of affirmation of LGBTQ+ people, need for rule following to guide behavior, lack of respect or inclusion of world religions' truth holding, and a general encouragement of certainty (which excludes questioning, doubts and non-christian thinking).
     Our solution: An unexpected gathering of like minded deconstructionists that turned into our home church called OUTSKIRTS. We started meeting in April and took turn leading on topics like "Is Hell Real?," "Sexual ethics in the Bible," and "What is the Sabbath?" We added new people and bonded as a community looking for room to safely explore in a supportive environment. Lately the topics of discussion have been, "Divination," "Worship." and "Energy Work."
     Peter and I have been reading voraciously on topics of feminism, the Bible, trauma work, hell, history, and affirming the under privileged. Our passions are stirred by this amazing community we have found and the needs we see at our jobs and in our world. Both of us are pursuing education opportunities to increase our abilities to serve well.
     Life is different to say the least.

     I would like to begin writing again and utilizing my blog to share our journeys. As I read over old posts, I see firm perspectives on God that are now fluid, I see vulnerability and honesty, and I am okay with the exposure of these deeply intimate stories of mine. I am ready to share where I am now, what I've learned and the mistakes I've made. I'm ready to offer the personal work I'm doing and the layers of heartache and loss that have been slowly peeling away.
    I hope you will join me.