As the words slowly made their way out of my mouth, the understanding bloomed in my heart. In the process of forming sentences to share with my friend, my mind finally found the understanding it had been in need of. It amazes me still. When I held all of my thoughts and emotions tightly in my chest, frustration bubbled, knots formed, confusion raced. When I mustered the courage to allow vulnerability in sharing them out loud, clarity was mine.
How many times will I have to experience this lesson before I trust it? I strive to keep honesty at the top of my list of values, and am surprised still at its power. I heard the whispers of that still, small voice, telling me to keep any kind of blame out of my words, to look inside and express the soft spots of my own making. I listened, struggling to find sense in my disappointments, fighting to clear the vision of what was causing it all. The wisdom in acknowledging that this was about me, my expectations, my insecurities, and my emerging needs freed me to share without casting unnecessary and unfounded fault.
My heart, both confidant and insecure, is gingerly treading the new freedoms around me. Such unknown paths, fun and frightening to explore! I am constantly in states of discovery and growth and it is the most exhilarating journey. At times I feel like a sixteen year old girl, hormones in full swing, drama zipping through me. It’s like I’m growing up at 38, finding giggly dreams and stifling fears inside me. I’m told to protect my heart, to move slowly, to tread carefully. I know I hesitate to trust, fear exposure, ache to be pursued. Above all, I will fight to keep honesty at the reins, steering my authenticity, leading me in growth, navigating my thriving heart.
How many times will I have to experience this lesson before I trust it? I strive to keep honesty at the top of my list of values, and am surprised still at its power. I heard the whispers of that still, small voice, telling me to keep any kind of blame out of my words, to look inside and express the soft spots of my own making. I listened, struggling to find sense in my disappointments, fighting to clear the vision of what was causing it all. The wisdom in acknowledging that this was about me, my expectations, my insecurities, and my emerging needs freed me to share without casting unnecessary and unfounded fault.
My heart, both confidant and insecure, is gingerly treading the new freedoms around me. Such unknown paths, fun and frightening to explore! I am constantly in states of discovery and growth and it is the most exhilarating journey. At times I feel like a sixteen year old girl, hormones in full swing, drama zipping through me. It’s like I’m growing up at 38, finding giggly dreams and stifling fears inside me. I’m told to protect my heart, to move slowly, to tread carefully. I know I hesitate to trust, fear exposure, ache to be pursued. Above all, I will fight to keep honesty at the reins, steering my authenticity, leading me in growth, navigating my thriving heart.
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