I Am With You

You fill me with hope. Every threat of inadequacy is destroyed by your power and love. The beautiful breeze you sent me this morning, simply blew away every “I’m not good enough” thought. You amaze me.

Thank you for clarity, for the knowledge that rings clear and true in the deepest parts of my heart. Thank you for courage, for the strength to be rooted in your power and your everlasting love. Thank you for willingness, for pushing me out the front door, for showing me over and over that every step on the journey is worth it. Thank you for cleansing, for every outpouring of grace that washes over me and heals me. Thank you for freedom, for awareness, and for joy.

Under a thin layer of skin, beats a jubilant heart. I feel it under the palm of my hand laying against my chest. Peaceful rhythm, tender smiles, gentle excitement. You have shown me the sunshine. I adore you.

Never stop teaching me. Never allow me to stand still. No matter how torrential the future storms look, how threatening the risks loom, push me forward into growth. Show me your power. You have built trust in my once crippled heart, and now I am jumping into your arms with surety that you will not only catch me, but that you will look at me with that beautiful, adoring gaze and hold me tighter and more secure than ever dreamed possible.
You fill me with hope.

I wrote this yesterday. Today I am being conquered by doubt. I have issues with being seen as “the bad guy.” Totally admitting that. The impending doom sits like a rock in my gut that I will be seen this way. It is a young emotion that I wonder if it will ever be done with me. Maybe God had me write this yesterday so I could reread it today. I need it today.
“Take My Hand” expresses everything I want to be. I want to love, not injure. I want to reach out, not push away. I want to comfort, not destroy. The little girl in me desperately wants to please. She wants someone to see the big hearted, playful girl. She wants to be known and adored no matter her mistakes. She wants to be valued just for being her. She wants to be loved.
The grown woman says it’s time to take care of myself. She gathers up every bit of courage to do what’s right even when it could hurt others. She struggles to keep hold of the freedom to laugh and to give. She stares at her reflection repeating over and over that she is valued and accepted by herself and by the God who created her.
It is one deep,frustrating conflict!