I Caught A Glimpse

I experienced my first glimpse of God using my past for His glory. I sat with two beautiful women, broken wide open, wounds both fresh and old. They shared stories with me as well as tears. And I was asked to share my victories, the God given healing I have and am still experiencing. There was a bit of hesitation in me, wondering if what I had to say would be too much for a stranger to hear. But in the eyes of this authentic woman who sat across from me, I felt a connection of heartache, and a desire to offer her encouragement in the witness of God’s mighty hand working through my life.

As I walked through my God story of trying to earn His favor to giving up in my disappointment to hearing His voice calling me back, I saw recognition in their eyes. God’s persistent beckoning when I was dirty, broken, with nothing to offer Him, was my heart’s undoing. He wanted me. He was pursuing me, and His tender voice never stopped calling, His hands constantly were held out to me, His arms wide open and ready to embrace me. The hope bloomed there, in speaking out loud His abiding love and desire for my heart. The hope bloomed as they listened to me and saw the genuine joy in my eyes, the glistening gratefulness in my tears.

I wanted to shout out how amazing He is, as I told them of the way He built trust in me so that He could do His miraculous and heart wrenching work of healing. In the middle of the painful exposure of my old wounds, I wondered when I would find peace. When He allowed ripping away of old protective covers, I panicked and wept fiercely over the heartache. For the first time ever, I told these two women about one instance where I was pushed and crippled by the process. I spoke out loud the powerful scene and broke down in tears with them at the admission of such rawness. And then God did it. Clarity. I saw His hand at work, I saw His incredible love for me and His wisdom in knowing exactly where I had to be taken emotionally to be able to face the reality of my past.

So many times we’re in the middle of the turmoil wondering where the end of the road is, where the other side of the crossing is. So often it takes years before we can look back and see the trail of God’s intervention. I saw it, sitting at my dining room table with my friends, willingly opening up to the possibility that God can use my story to bless another. I saw it in the abandonment of fear and the witness of what God can bring us through. I caught a glimpse of His power in my past, and a glimpse of His plans for my future.